this is a more personal blog. you will find a lot of venting on here. and every once in a while some quotes and things. I have another blog and it's a fandom blog, if you want to know that blog just shoot me a message, or if you just want to talk :)
oh dear goodness last night was one of the craziest nights ever. I am done drinking for like ever… like for real. talked to js for at least 45 min about basically my life story… then I cuddled and made out with dss and I liked it a lot. and then after he left me and wdc talked from like 5-6:30 in the morning and then he fucking kissed me and he has a girlfriend and I dont know what I to do. I guess it’s none of my business really I didn’t kiss him back but I feel so guilty. but he was talking about how he’s wanted to do that for a really long time. but then js and wdc are both saying I should date mgz uhhhh I don’t know what’s happening anymore in my life. but I know one thing for sure NO MORE DRINKING
so srw came up, we kissed, we held hands, and acted like a couple… I just honestly am terrified.. and then there’s you agd who I’ve been crushing on since the day I met you but I know I have no shot with you… boys suck
you’re so fricken adorable when you’re drunk, but also at this moment I am super worried about you you’re just walking around town, when you should be heading back home… and you want me to drive you but I can’t… :( right now would be a great day to have my license so I could help you… :/
I miss you do much it hurts. I just don’t understand how you can like not text me or anything… like for real what the heck is going on….????!! I can’t stand it. the least you could do is text me back :((( I have cried about this…
this job is going to be the death of all my friendships… :( I’ve been gone 2 weeks and already so much has happened and I’ll be gone again another whole week… :( I am so upset. I think soon I’m going to have to pick a group of friends and I’m going to have to stick with them, and lose the rest… :( I just dont know what to do.
why do I torture myself…? I just listened to all of our heytell’s like uhg I hate you so much, uhg I wish I was sleeping I have to wake up in 4 hours and I start training tomorrow… it’s going to be a long day that’s for sure.. :(
I just don’t even know what to think right now, or say. I feel like I’m losing my friends and I can’t stand it.
for real you deleted me off facebook, but continue to snapchat me… really? I am so pissed off at you!!!! so I jut deleted your number, at least I know I can’t call you or text you anymore when I’m drinking cause I don’t have your number… uhhh I am sooo mad I can’t even stand it, and then yesterday you asked me why I like you, then don’t respond when I answer you, and the other night you told me all you wanted was sex basically I am so done with you, I think I’ll block you on snapchat too that way you can’t snap chat me anymore. you suck horribly and I hope you don’t try to talk to me cause that’s not happening anymore. I just wish I could go back in time and stop myself from dating you the first time then we would still be friends and only friends that’s all I want….!!!
I just don’t understand anything right now… I just feel so lost, and confused about every single thing. I over think every little detail. I just uhg I need you…
it’s nice to know I was wanted to go with you.. sometimes I just feel so bleh about things…
my mind just races, and makes up stuff that really its happening, sometimes I feel like my friends get annoyed with me, I can’t handle it, other times I feel like they just don’t want to talk to me anymore or hang out with me, I mean you’re gonna get a place with someone else not me… I mean wth I am so confused right now, and then you, you stupid idiot you keep snap chatting me.. but not answering my texts I literally want to just punch you in the face right now…!!!!! and then fricken you, text me everything I make plans with your boyfriend seriously get over it I don’t like him, I had my chance to date him and I didnt take it obviously you’re fine!!!! gosh tonight was just an off night. the day was good though.
uhhhhhhhg you finally texted me…. and I just can’t be mad or stay mad… how do you have this affect on me?? I can’t get over you. why????
I just don’t understand what happened to us. you keep snap chatting me.. but you haven’t texted me? like what the frick happened. I just want an explanation so we can either move past this, or I can move on. and I just can’t stay mad at you. and you know that. so I just don’t understand why you haven’t talked to me, you know I won’t stay mad… so just please talk to me.
I just don’t understand why you haven’t talked to me… just a text saying sorry will draw me right back in, I know it will… I just can’t get over you. you suck so much…. I just want to be happy with you; but you always let me down.
I knew this was going to happen… I got my hopes up. and then you shatter them… uhg I am so pissed off at you. you could have at least told me that we weren’t going to hang out tonight.. you suck.